Some people are idiots, plain and simple. Frank Kozumplik proved himself to be one of them when he was arrested and had his lawnmower confiscated after running out of wine and deciding that he could drive the lawnmower the 2 miles necessary to get to the liquor store. Arrested with a blood alcohol content of .20, Kozumplik explained to police that his wife had the car and the lawnmower was the only reasonable way for him to get to the liquor store.
Surely people are going to say “oh sad, he’s an alcoholic, look how desperate he is.” Then I have to say, “no, look how stupid he is” before we all chuckle and agree that Frank Kozumplik is a moron. While it’s both sad and distburbing that things like this are happening with increasing frequency, the saving grace is that he was arrested, and probably will be charged with driving under the influence. Though news reports haven’t mentioned, I don’t think it would be a shocker if this was a repeat offense for Frank.
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